Hey! We can all stop worrying about the Gulf oil spill now! WOO HOO!

Obama, the brilliant one, the smartest man on the planet, the Grand Tyrant, has the issue WELL under control now.

What has he done?

WELL – he sent Eric Holder, his Attorney General, to meet with Gulf State Attorneys General to discuss who to sue! Yeah. That’ll help. CLEARLY, all we need to do is sue the hole in the ground and sentence it to healing itself! And you thought we needed scientists, or people who had actually seen an oil rig in their lifetime to solve this one! Or maybe distracting BP from the issue at hand will somehow help?

There’s even a Plan B: It’s simple! Call in the Hollywood scientists! Yup. Obama called Hollywood director James Cameron in to discuss how to plug the oil spill. Apparently, Cameron knows more about oil than BP and more about deep sea exploration and deep sea robotic manipulation than the people at Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute, the people who actually found the Titanic, triggering Cameron to make his movie, and to whom Obama has NOT spoken about the issue to date.

AND, if all else fails, Robert Reich, economic advisor to B. Hussein, the man who famously said that we should just kill old people because they’re “too expensive,” has declared that Obama should put BP under temporary receivership! Yup. Obama should FINALLY nationalize the oil industry, starting with BP. What would that do, you ask? SIMPLE! As everyone knows, the idiots in Obama administration, who have never worked a day of their lives in the private sector, CLEARLY know more about the oil industry than does British Petroleum. They, and only they, can figure out how to resolve this crisis! Why haven’t they spoken up then? Well – because they weren’t in charge. Being in charge makes all the difference – apparently?

And besides! As soon as Obama’s name goes on top of the BP organization chart, that hole in the ground will recognize it and miraculously heal itself! After all, Obama told the world that his victory in the Democrat primary “was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.” If the simple fact of his nomination was enough to begin healing the entire planet and lowering the oceans, why, who could even question what putting his name atop that org chart would do!

By the way, Reich is currently a professor at Berkeley – busy filling the heads of our future leaders with such nonsense! God HELP America!

Oh – and by the way – the Saudi’s have a solution that has been working for years. Their 1993 800 million barrel spill was cleaned up and a full 85% of the recovered oil was usable (the remainder being consumed in the filtering and processing). The lead engineer on that project is even an American, who recently attended an Obama speech where the Grand Tyrant claimed to be “trying everything.” Also, Kevin Costner has been investing millions of his own dollars for years into oil centrifuge technology and he and the company that developed the equipment have been trying to get clearance to try his separation technology to clean up the spill before it hits land. They have been trying since the 2nd week of May. Now the oil is hitting the coast, and they’re still waiting.

Why are they still waiting? Well, perhaps it’s because, as Obama said, he has been in charge all along and must approve anything tried – and he’s just been so busy planning (and then enjoying) his two vacations and the upcoming gala party with Paul McCartney at the King’s Court to bother with anything as tedious as leading the country.

Or, perhaps it’s the more likely reason, that Obama hasn’t figured out how to take the most political advantage of a solution yet. At present, it is still more politically beneficial to ignore solutions while attacking BP and the entire oil industry. After all, he’s already used this one spill (the 2nd SMALLEST oil spill since 1991/92 just to put it in perspective and counter the propagandists) to prohibit the off-AND ON-shore extraction of American oil – furthering his dream of getting us all back on horseback. As the Grand Tyrant’s Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, said – “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste.” Clearly, there’s still more political hay to extract from this crisis before allowing a solution to occur.